i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My vagina is officially offended.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
