I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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