dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
