You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN