for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
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Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.