I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.