So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS