Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.

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  (401): I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths. http://tfl.nu/qww0
  Replies (37) Good night (1024) Bad night (2345)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

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  (334): how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs. http://tfl.nu/0f51
  Replies (19) Good night (729) Bad night (1999)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

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  (616): Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy. http://tfl.nu/q0bl
  Replies (8) Good night (2979) Bad night (586)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

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  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (7043) Bad night (1309)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he breathalyzed me before we had sex.

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  (781): he breathalyzed me before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/k1vd
  Replies (42) Good night (2614) Bad night (5632)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.

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  (970): I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment. http://tfl.nu/cc9w
  Replies (9) Good night (3792) Bad night (1186)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

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  (718): Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much. http://tfl.nu/absj
  Replies (15) Good night (5602) Bad night (1692)
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  (714): View more from California

  considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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  (714): considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned http://tfl.nu/7fpn
  Replies (3) Good night (3348) Bad night (857)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n

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  (303): Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n http://tfl.nu/8mzg
  Replies (10) Good night (882) Bad night (4712)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move

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  (216): The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move http://tfl.nu/h1eb
  Replies (26) Good night (2929) Bad night (1034)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?

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  (757): Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early? http://tfl.nu/0ctz
  Replies (19) Good night (1892) Bad night (639)
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  (323): View more from California

  Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.

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  (323): Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking. http://tfl.nu/kzzf
  Replies (1) Good night (1427) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.

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  (201): Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us. http://tfl.nu/sjtk
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!

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  (716): YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!! http://tfl.nu/4ih5
  Replies (9) Good night (520) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!

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  (+61): I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five! http://tfl.nu/d35d
  Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (221)

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