omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.