I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
