the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.