Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution

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(480): View more from Arizona

In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth

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(909): View more from California

I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

Give me weed or give me death?

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(585): View more from New York

I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun

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