Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How come twittering sounds sexual?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because of Bambi.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): How come twittering sounds sexual? (267): Because of Bambi. http://tfl.nu/cgx2
  Replies (7) Good night (1369) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis http://tfl.nu/pim3
  Replies (90) Good night (968) Bad night (4663) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese http://tfl.nu/0g2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3109) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women? http://tfl.nu/e8g0
  Replies (92) Good night (1414) Bad night (3754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business??? http://tfl.nu/t2g2
  Replies (22) Good night (5040) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend. http://tfl.nu/fzd9
  Replies (7) Good night (3259) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Does it taste like semen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it. (214): Does it taste like semen? http://tfl.nu/qasv
  Replies (10) Good night (4139) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day." http://tfl.nu/1vs8
  Replies (5) Good night (998) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex... http://tfl.nu/th3v
  Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS. http://tfl.nu/dcv0
  Replies (3) Good night (1403) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine. http://tfl.nu/9l0i
  Replies (21) Good night (1158) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW. http://tfl.nu/0vlm
  Replies (2) Good night (925) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high. http://tfl.nu/a6we
  Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning. http://tfl.nu/1tmw
  Replies (0) Good night (198) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status http://tfl.nu/i9jh
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt

Randomize