He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow