Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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