she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.