I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
