is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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