Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize