She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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