dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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