You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize