Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
