So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
