I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
