Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
