Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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