I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
