you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
