On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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