I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
