What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
