So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
