her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
