Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
