Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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