doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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