yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
