Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
