Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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