Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
