Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
