do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
