I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
