Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
whose parrot is this?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
