He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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