He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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