So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
