So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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