I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
