I am in a vortex of obligation.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
