I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she smelled like a LAN party
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
