If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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