Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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