called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
