I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
