Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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