he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
