what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
