First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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