White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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