elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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