Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
