I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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