idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
