he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
