hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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