thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She announced her abortion via fbk
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
