two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
