you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
