also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
