just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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