I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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