gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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