sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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